Free resources for making games

I got a little carried away while assembling a list of game-development resources as an activity for a course I’m taking, so I decided to share them. Enjoy.

Everything listed is free enough (in both senses of the word) to be used, royalty-free in a commercial or open-source project and can be used to produce games which, at minimum, target Windows, Linux, and OSX. With a few minor exceptions, which are noted, all tools also run on any of those three.

Note: This is only a portion of the list I maintain for my own use. If you don’t see what you want, feel free to ask me to check my bigger, more cluttered private list.

Articles (Sample Platter):

Free Game Engines:

  • Godot (Free competitor to Unity3D. Has a built-in IDE.)
  • Panda3D (3D game engine developed by Disney specifically to enable high-quality games to be written in Python)
  • The Frogatto Engine (Anura) (Really impressive built-in level editing and dynamic reprogramming capabilities. Primarily targeted at 2D platformers, but can be repurposed.)
  • Sauerbraten and BananaBread (A Quake-like 3D game engine with as-you-play level editing and a WebGL port)
  • Various iD Tech engines that have been open-sourced
  • Spring Engine (Open-source 3D real-time strategy game engine)
  • EasyRPG (Open-source clone of the RPG Maker 2000/20003 editor and player. See MKXP for a clone of the RPG Maker XP runtime only.)
  • Adventure Game Studio (Open-source editor and engine for 2D games in the style of King’s Quest and Monkey Island. Editor runs on Windows. Engine ported to all major platforms.)
  • Ren’Py (The most popular engine for English-language visual novels and related types of games)
  • TADS (The most advanced engine for interactive fiction (text adventures), supporting rich text, illustrations, ambient sounds, hyperlinks, etc. The IDE is is Win32-only, but a fully-portable command-line toolchain is available and the IDE can be run in Wine if you use winetricks to install IE6.)

Free 3D Engines and Game Frameworks:

  • OGRE 3D (Highly-extensible, modular 3D engine as used by games like Torchlight and The Book of Unwritten Tales)
  • Irrlicht (3D engine used in proprietary games like Octodad and open-source ones like SuperTuxKart)
  • SDL 2.0 (The big name in providing a portable alternative to DirectX. With add-ons like SDL_mixer, the Render API provides a higher-level 2D experience comparable to Allegro)
  • HaxeFlixel (Port of the Flixel 2D engine from ActionScript to Haxe, a statically-typed derivative which compiles to SWF or native code)
  • Moai SDK (used by Broken Age. A.K.A. The DoubleFine Adventure)
  • MonoGame (Open-source XNA 4.0 clone for C# games. Used to port games like Bastion, Escape Goat, and Fez to non-Windows OSes. See MonoGame-SDL2 for best Linux backend.)
  • LWJGL (Portable Java game library used by Minecraft.)

Free Resources:

Relevant Steam Dev Days Talks:


  • Qt Creator (The free, portable, mature C/C++ IDE that Valve apparently prefers.)
  • Code::Blocks (Open-source IDE for C/C++/Fortran. Alternative to Qt Creator that’s easier to learn in some ways and harder in others.)
  • ZeroBrane Studio (Lua IDE which integrates with engines like the aforementioned Moai)
  • FlashDevelop (Open-source IDE for ActionScript and Haxe. Windows-only but Wine-compatible, including a helper app to bridge it into the native Linux/OSX desktop.)
  • MonoDevelop (Open-source IDE for .NET, well-suited to MonoGame development.)
  • Eclipse (Open-source IDE written in Java. Widely considered to be heavy and bloated, so I only suggest using it for Java projects, rather than other languages for which better IDEs exist.)


  • ASEprite (Allegro-based, open-source sprite editor. $10 for pre-built or compile it yourself for free)
  • Audacity (Free, open-source, cross-platform audio editor)
  • Git Extensions (An easy-to-install Windows distribution of the Git revision control system which provides comprehensive GUIs.)
  • Krita and MyPaint (Free, open-source digital painting tools which compete with Corel Painter and SAI… unlike GIMP which is even more specialized as a photo-retoucher than Photoshop.)
  • LMMS (Free, open-source, cross-platform music-composing tool. Ardour is even more powerful but only works on Linux and OSX and has a bit of a learning curve.)
  • TileEd (Free, open-source level/map editor for when you’re building your own game engine)
  • VirtualBox (Free, open-source competitor to VMWare. Has guest 3D drivers, which make it an easy way to quickly test new game builds on other platforms.)

Tools (3D):

  • Blender (Free, open-source professional-quality 3D modelling tool with built-in game engine and non-linear video editor.)
  • GtkRadiant and QuArK (Level editors for games based on the various iD Tech engines that have been open-sourced over the years)
  • MakeHuman (Free, open-source tool for generating humanoid 3D models quickly and easily)
  • ngPlant, Arbaro, Ivy Generator (Free, open-source, parametric generation of 3D plant models. There also exist plugins for this in the Blender plugin browser.)
  • Terraineer, HME, and Picogen (Cross-platform, open-source terrain heightmap generators and/or editors. Geomorph and Terraform also exist, but they’re Linux-only.)
  • Wings 3D (Free, open-source subdivision modelling tool which may be easier to learn than Blender when that’s all you need.)

Free, Open-Source Installer Generators:

  • NSIS (As used by many many Windows programs and games)
  • InnoSetup (The other big, free installer generator. Used by all Windows releases)
  • for Linux tarball releases (My own creation, so you can ask me for help with it. Used by the Linux releases of games like SteamWorld Dig and Desktop Dungeons)
  • Mojo Setup (For when you really need a binary Linux installer package… but I had to hack together my own “unpack it without running the install scripts” tool like cabextract or innoextract for it, so expect to piss off people like me if this is the only option you offer.)

Services Free to Projects Which Open-Source Their Code on GitHub:

  • GitHub itself (code hosting, issue tracker, wiki, release hosting, statically-templated web hosting)
  • Travis-CI (Linux-based continuous integration test service)
  • Appveyor (Windows-based continuous integration test service)
  • Coveralls (code coverage reporting and analysis for Travis-CI)
  • Coverity Scan (Static code analysis for C, C++, and Java)
  • (Trello-like project management UI based on GitHub issues)
  • (Project chat room host with GitHub integration, mobile apps, and an optional bridge so people can connect with IRC clients.)

Enjoy. :)

P.S. Remember that this list is not exhaustive. I have a much bigger and more comprehensive list that I haven’t had time to polish up and I’d be happy to answer questions if this is missing something you need.

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Recommendations for an Interactive Fiction Engine

If you’re writing a piece of interactive fiction (A.K.A. a text adventure game),writing your own engine is the last thing you want to do. (That’s no fun. The fun is in providing off-the-wall responses to crazy instructions.)

Instead, there are three engines I strongly recommend that you consider using. All are open-source, all permit you to redistribute and sell your creations freely and, while they are quite different in what they do and don’t offer, all have plenty of advanced features that would be a pain to reinvent, like graph-drawing IDEs, text parsers, accessibility for the visually impaired, etc.

I’ll go in the order I recommend that you consider using them:


Twine is a purely mouse-driven system (no text parser) with Choose Your Own Adventure-style gameplay as its primary focus. However, it does have macros and variables, it is extensible, and you will never find anything simpler or easier to create and share with.

Twine 1.x uses a native Windows or MacOS editor which graphically visualizes the structure of your story. Twine 2.0 (in beta as of this writing) moves the editor into the browser so installing your own copy is optional and Linux authors aren’t left out.

An exported Twine story is simply a TiddlyWiki 2.x HTML file that has been given an extreme makeover, which means that it requires no special hosting. Put it in your Dropbox, attach it to an e-mail, or put it on a thumbdrive. If the reader has a web browser, they can use it.

This also means that each page/passage/screen/location in your story is simply a series of pages, __written__ –in– ”TiddlyWiki” //markup//, and connected by [[wiki links]]. (Embedded images are supported)

Taking proper advantage of its TiddlyWiki underpinnings, Twine provides a selection of TiddlyWiki <<macros>> and predefined JavaScript functions for things like manipulating variables and displaying different content depending on the values of those variables. It is also easy to include custom CSS or JavaScript.

A simple but comprehensive tutorial is available with plenty of screenshots for the 1.x series.

Given how low-friction Twine is, I’d suggest using it to prototype anything that can be implemented purely using mouse input, and then copying your text to TADS (which also supports HTML with hyperlinks) if you outgrow it.

Free hosting for your stories is available at Philomela, Adventure Cow, and any service which lets you share an HTML file without modifying its contents, such as Neocities, Dropbox, or your GitHub Pages blog.

Here are a few examples of what people have built with it:


TADS (short for Text Adventure Design System) is an advanced programming language, engine, and development environment for text adventure games. They also provide a site named the Interactive Fiction Database (IFDB for short) which provides free hosting for non-pornographic games and allows people to play them in the browser if you export them in the right form.

Writing your game in TADS has the following big advantages:

  1. A ready-made engine with a highly advanced text parser, a bundled library of 150+ predefined verbs, and a world model that allows it to infer things like “the room should go dark if you put the only light source in a box and close it”.
  2. HTML TADS” multimedia support so you can include headings, illustrations, text formatting, horizontal rulings, block quotes, ambient sounds, etc.It also allows you to hyperlink words like “bottle” to commands like “take bottle” to enable a certain degree of mouse interaction.
  3. A simple C++/ActionScript-like language with declarative extensions that make it easy to rely on the engine to understand concepts like picking up objects and moving from place to place.To quote the TADS website, When we designed TADS, we started by asking why it’s so difficult to write IF with a mainstream language like C++ or Javascript. We applied the answers we found to the design of a new language. The result looks a lot like C++ and Javascript, but has many differences, small and large, that make it better suited for IF. 
  4. A Flash-like “portable bytecode and platform-specific runtimes” approach to distributing games with at least one open-source runtime per platform for Windows, MacOS, Linux, DOS, AmigaOS on PPC, BeOS, and jailbroken Kindles, plus an in-browser solution.(Though it does require you to set up some server-side componentry if you are self-hosting rather than relying on IFDB.)
  5. Fully open-source with command-line compilers for all major platforms and an IDE for Windows which can generate both EXE installers and the TADS equivalent of Java JAR files for you with one or two clicks. (And it includes offline copies of the quickstart guide, tutorial, and various reference manuals)
  6. As of TADS 3, you can override just about any default behaviour to make as complex and fancy a UI as you want. For example:
    • One screenshot shows an arcade game where text mimics graphics.
    • The documentation for the advanced windowing features discusses an example with a fixed status line, fixed “picture of the location” pane, fixed compass, and scrolling text pane.
  7. They’re working toward network multiplayer support. (The in-browser option has network primitives but “just ask for it and you’ve got a MUD” isn’t an option quite yet.)

As they say on TV Tropes:

Examples of games with actual good parsers include The Hobbit and anything by Infocom or Legend. Ironically, that includes some of the oldest adventure games; many of the newer ones tried to reinvent the parser wheel. The TADS (Text Adventure Development System) runtime is particularly good at such reinvention — not only can you actually get ye flask, TADS allows to choose between multiple ye flasks, and will ask which one thou actually wantest.

Here’s the “starter game” from the quick start guide so you can get an idea for how much it does for you.

         #include <en_us.h>

         gameMain: GameMainDef
           initialPlayerChar = me

         versionInfo: GameID
           name = 'My First Game'
           byline = 'by Bob Author'
           authorEmail = 'Bob Author <>'
           desc = 'This is an example of how to start a new game project. '
           version = '1'
           IFID = 'b8563851-6257-77c3-04ee-278ceaeb48ac'

         firstRoom: Room 'Starting Room'
           "This is the boring starting room."

         +me: Actor

Connecting rooms together is as simple as writing west = firstRoom in one and east = secondRoom in another.

The main downside is that, because IFDB doesn’t allow pornographic content, a pornographic text adventure like Corruption of Champions must be self-hosted. (And, as I mentioned, self-hosting the “play in browser” option is a bit involved.)

Now for the other option:

Inform 7

Like its predecessors, Inform 7 compiles to bytecode for Inform’s venerable Z-machine runtime but can also produce bytecode for the Glulx engine, a modern successor which removes many of the system’s limitations.

Like TADS, multiple open-source runtimes are available and the IDE is open-source as well. However, unlike TADS, Inform 7 games generally have minimal text parsers and no support for anything beyond what you’d see in notepad.exe.

However, there are four reasons I recommend Inform 7 to people who don’t want to use TADS:

  1. It has a more impressive IDE than TADS, the Inform 7 IDE is available on Windows, MacOS X, and Linux platforms and has various visualizations that help you to better understand the structure of your game.
  2. There is a pure Javascript runtime that’s directly supported by the IDE, so producing “play in the browser” versions is ridiculously easy.
  3. Thanks to, you can write, share, and play Inform 7 games completely in your browser.
  4. It has a “plain english” syntax. (I think this is a downside, but some people apparently prefer it.)

For comparison with TADS, here’s Inform 7’s answer to “Hello World”:

"Hello Deductible" by "I.F. Author"

The story headline is "An Interactive Example".

The Living Room is a room. "A comfortably furnished living room."
The Kitchen is north of the Living Room.
The Front Door is south of the Living Room.
The Front Door is a door. The Front Door is closed and locked.

The insurance salesman is a man in the Living Room. "An insurance salesman in a tacky polyester suit. He seems eager to speak to you." Understand "man" as the insurance salesman.

A briefcase is carried by the insurance salesman. The description is "A slightly worn, black briefcase." Understand "case" as the briefcase.

The insurance paperwork is in the briefcase. The description is "Page after page of small legalese." Understand "papers" or "documents" or "forms" as the paperwork.

Instead of listening to the insurance salesman for the first time:

    say "The salesman bores you with a discussion of life insurance policies. From his briefcase he pulls some paperwork which he hands to you.";
    move the insurance paperwork to the player.

In essence, both TADS and Inform 7 are specialized programming systems with first-class tooling but TADS developers focused on giving you more freedom to create rich experiences while Inform 7 focused on trying to make the existing spartan experience accessible to a wider, less technical population of authors.

Personally, I think Inform 7’s plain English syntax is counter-productive because no programming language can understand the full breadth of English grammar and that conflation makes it harder to fully learn what the language will and won’t allow when compared to a purely artificial syntax like the ones used in TADS and older Inform versions.

Other engines with text parsers do exist, but TADS, Inform, and ADRIFT are the most popular by a huge margin (very important for ensuring plenty of good documentation and community support) and ADRIFT costs money.

All in all, my advice is to use Twine for mouse-driven stuff and TADS for stuff requiring a text parser. They’re both proven solutions that are only going to get better and you should never underestimate the benefits of having a solid, versatile foundation with plenty of room to grow.

(If you know enough JavaScript you can extend Twine to do anything and TADS, while not a full web browser, has a smart, extensible text parser and a renderer that allows you to enhance your text with custom typesetting, illustrations, fixed UI elements, and more.)

P.S. If you want mouse-driven and graphical instead, you probably want either Ren’Py or Adventure Game Studio. There’s also EasyRPG if you want an open-source RPG Maker clone.

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Non-interactive batch-deleting in TaskWarrior

Well, given how much time I spent squashing bugs on my system after updating it, I missed quite a few instances of daily routine tasks (eg. doing my exercises) in TaskWarrior.

Given that I don’t have a GUI installed and TaskWarrior’s support for temporarily disabling the “are you sure?” confirmation is broken, I decided to whip up a tiny little expect script.

Here it is in case anyone else ever wants to batch-delete easily.

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Hacking together a quick update notifier

Since upgrading to Lubuntu 14.04 (more vitriol on the bugs therein later), I’ve discovered that the update notifier has lost the dconf key to disable the daily “please reboot” nag.

Distraction aside, I don’t react well to programs trying to impose specific behaviours on me, so I decided to replace it (and this blog post might have taken more time to write than my replacement).

Here’s what my new update notifier looks like:

To be honest, I actually prefer a flat list like this as opposed to the new tree-view layout they also added to update manager. This way, I don’t have to waste time clicking expanders to get a complete list of what’s being installed before I OK it.

Clicking “Upgrade Now” opens a terminal window containing apt-get and clicking “Remind Me Later” exits the script until cron re-runs it the next morning.

Here’s the source for anyone who wants it:

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Extracting music from XWB files on Linux

I just picked up Shipwreck for $1 on sale and decided I really liked two of the tracks. Like other MonoGame ports, it uses the same XWB-format bundles for music as XNA games on Windows and X-Box do, so you need unxwb to extract them.

Since not everyone is a programmer and unxwb is under the GPL, here’s a copy of the unxwb Zip to which I’ve added a Makefile and both 32-bit and 64-bit x86 binaries built on Ubuntu 12.04 LTS.

Just run it like this and you should get a bunch of audio files dumped into the current working directory.

unxwb -b music.xsb music.xwb

For those who aren’t running Linux, aren’t using an x86-compatible processor, have older system libraries than Ubuntu 12.04 LTS, or don’t trust binaries off random websites, here’s how to build from source on a Debian-family distro:

  1. sudo apt-get install build-essential zlib1g-dev
  2. unzip
  3. cd unxwb
  4. make

If you want to replicate exactly what I provided, make sure you’re building on Ubuntu 12.04.4 LTS for x86_64 and replace that last step with this:

  1. sudo dpkg --add-architecture i386
  2. sudo apt-get update
  3. sudo apt-get upgrade
  4. sudo apt-get install zlib1g-dev:i386 advancecomp
  5. make dist

You can start from either the contents of the original zip or mine. As long as you add my Makefile, make dist should produce the same result.

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Early Modern English for Authors

Last Updated: October 26th, 2014

Since I seem to keep offering bits and pieces of this advice to people over and over, here’s a guide (which I’ll probably amend as things occur to me) for writing consistent, believable, and easy-to-understand Early Modern English dialogue in your stories.

Note: Yes, I’m aware that this could be tidied up more. I’ll do it if I can ever find the time but I wanted to get this out where people could benefit from it.

1. Second-Person Singular Pronouns

In English today, we use you/your/yours as our all-purpose second-person pronoun family. However, that was not always the case.

As is still the case in modern French, Early Modern English had two sets of second-person pronouns:

Used for speaking formally or addressing groups of people (like “vous” in French).
Used for talking to a single friend or family member or, in some cases, for showing disrespect for a stranger (like “tu” in French).

Using these pronouns is very simple:

The subject of the sentence, just like “I”, “we”, “you”, “he”, “she”, and “they”.
The object of the sentence, just like “me”, “us”, “you”, “him”, “her”, and “them”.
The posessive determiner, just like “my”, “our”, “your”, “his”, “her”, and “their”.
The posessive pronoun, just like “mine”, “ours”, “yours”, “his”, “hers”, and “theirs”.

You can remember these by recognizing that

thee rhymes with me
thy my
thine mine

There’s also a good chart in the Declension section of the Wikipedia “Thou” article.

(This also makes you realize that the common phrase a ‘holier than thou’ attitude is bad grammar and was probably cooked up by people who picked up words like “thee” and “thou” from the King James Bible without understanding how to use them.)

1.1 Verb Forms

Now, this does require special verb forms, but they’re ridiculously simple to remember. Just stick “st” or “est” (Whichever feels right. This was before standard spelling) onto the end of the verb which “thou” directly applies to.

Here are some examples of properly constructed sentences:

  • “Dost thou know him?”
  • “Thou knowest that he hates thee.”

There are irregular verbs, but only four of them and they’re only irregular in the sense that, in five specific tenses, you crunch things down even more to avoid awkwardness.

Here is the list from Wikipedia, slightly adjusted for clarity:

Present Past
you are, you were thou art thou wert
you have thou hast thou hadst
you shall thou shalt
you will thou wilt

Note: While they aren’t irregular conjugations, keep in mind that you can use “you be” and “thou beest” in place of “you are” and “thou art” if you think they’lll help the flavour… just don’t go overboard.

2. Proper use of “mine” and “thine”

In early modern English, “my” and “thy” change form when the next word begins with a vowel:

hand eye
A a hand an eye
My my hand mine eye
Thy thy hand thine eye

This made it easier to speak quickly because, when you ran your words together, you got “my nye” rather than “mye”.

Again, this has a parallel in modern French where, most of the time, you only say the terminal consonant in a word as a way to smoothly flow into the starting vowel on the next word.

3. Proper use of “Ye”

No, this is not about “ye olde shoppe”. That’s just “the old shop”. (There was a period of time before standard spelling when we’d also been forced to abandon the letter Thorn (Þ and þ) by things like italian-made printing type but hadn’t settled on “th” as a replacement yet.)

I’m talking about the pronoun “ye“, which was used before the meaning of “you” became more general. Just like “thou” and “thee” are subject and object, “ye” and “you” are also a subject-object pair.

“Ye gave of your own riches.”

That’s it. There are even a couple of places in modern writing where we still quote it:

  • Oh, ye of little faith.
  • Hear ye, hear ye!

4. Proper use of the “-eth” suffix on verbs

You’ve probably seen phrases like “my cup runneth over”. That’s what we’re talking about. Surprisingly, “-eth” is just the old way to form the present tense of the third-person singular.

Now, we say “God gives and he takes away”. Then, we said “God giveth and he taketh away.”

5. Proper use of “Shall”

“Shall” is an interesting verb because it took me a while to assemble a simple explanation. Nowadays, we mostly use “will” in its place but that wasn’t always so.

Basically, “shall” is to “will” as “should” is to “would”. Compare “shall we?” and “will we?”

Using “shall” carries a connotation of intent, command, order, or prophecy. (eg. “Thou shalt not kill”)

In archaic English, where the use of “shall” is expected, using “will” carries the opposite connotation rather than being neutral. “I shall fall asleep” indicates that it’s a decision you’ve made, so “I will fall asleep” carries an undercurrent of “whether I want to or not” by contrast.

As a side note, this means that “shan’t” (the contraction of “shall not”) is used in many places where, now, we’d often use “won’t”.

6. Use of contractions

Given how much of the archaic English we write is spoken by nobles, I should remind less experienced authors that, when speaking that formally, you typically avoid contractions like “won’t” and “shan’t” because “will not” and “shall not” help to reinforce the sense of conviction in your words (which, as a royal, translates to using the might of a political entity to back it up).

7. Use of the “do” auxilliary verb

In the past, people were more likely to save “do” for places where they needed emphasis, so your Early Modern English dialogue can use things like “Dare I?” instead of “Do I dare?” and “I dare not” instead of “I don’t dare” to feel more accurate.

8. Use of “whom”

While many people say things like “to who” today, with “whom” dying off because it doesn’t lend any additional expressive power, if you ask your grandparents (or even your parents, depending on the school they went to), they’ll probably tell you that it was drummed into them that “to who” is bad grammar because “who” is the subject and “whom” is the object.

(“Who gave it to whom?”)

The same principle applies with derived words like whoever (whomever) and so on. As with Thou, the Wikipedia page for Whom is also easy to understand and very helpful in getting used to what has been trimmed from common use.

9. Know the vernacular

One of the biggest differences between Modern English and believable Archaic English is the same as between American English and British English: Which synonyms people prefer when speaking informally.

For example, here are a few of the words and phrases I can think of which can help your archaic speech:

  • You have my gratitude (I’m grateful)
  • Surely you jest (You’ve gotta be joking)
  • Had I but known (If only I’d known)
  • Nary (never a/not any, as “nary a sound”)
  • Nigh (near/nearly, as in “Our doom is nigh” or “Nigh-impregnable”)
  • Nought (nothing, as in “It was all for nought”)
  • Tarry (Wait/stay/delay, as in “I mustn’t tarry longer”.)
  • ‘Tis (An archaic contraction of “it is” which was used as casually as we now use “they’re” or “isn’t”. Given that there was no standard spelling at the time, I prefer to write “T’is” so it’s not mistaken for an opening single quote with no matching closing quote.)
  • Unto (Like “upon” or “to”, but indicating an indirect object, as in “Bestowed unto him”)
  • Unto (Synonym for “until”, as in “unto death”)
  • Yay and Nay (yes and no)
  • Yea (so/this, as in “About yea high”)
  • Yonder (This/That/Here/There/Those, indicating a place. Eg. “Over yonder” or “yonder valley”)
  • Yon (A synonym for “yonder” that may sound more natural in some places.)
  • Ensue (eg. “chaos ensued”)
  • Employ (in its role as a synonym for “use”)
  • Singular (we used to use it instead of “unique”. See, for example, Sherlock Holmes.)

Archaic grammar (especially among nobles) often uses more indirect and/or deferential phrasing. (Basically, hedging your bets when talking to someone.) For example:

  • “I fail to see how/why” instead of “I don’t see/understand how/why”
  • “If you will permit me” instead of “If I’m allowed”

Tip: If you have a friend who’s learning French, ask for their help. A lot of archaic English grammar is more obvious when approached from modern French. (eg. “J’ai peur” -> “I have fear” -> “Have no fear” or “J’ai faim” -> “I have hunger” -> “I hunger”)

10. Never End A Sentence With a Preposition

As long as you know when to make exceptions, following this dying rule helps to lend an educated air to your character. (eg. “I know the place of which you speak” rather than “I know the place you speak of”)

Don’t bother with the also-common “don’t split the infinitive” rule though. That just cripples your ability to make sentences feel good (eg. denying you the option of “to boldly go” by requiring that “to go” remain an undivided phrase).

…and, besides, it was imposed on English’s Germanic grammar by scholars with a hard-on for Latin. (And, as anyone who’s studied French knows, you can’t split the infinitive in Latin because it’s one word. In French, “to go” is “aller” and “we go” is “nous allons”)

11. Lesser-Used Grammatical Moods

As anyone who’s done any kind of academic language study (eg. learning French at College/University) knows , languages have various “moods“.

In English, we commonly use the indicative mood (“You are going to them”), the conditional mood (“You would go to them if…”), the imperative mood (“Go to them”), and the potential mood (“You may go”, “She can go”).

First, I’d like to point out two ways of using the moods you already know in a less common fashion:

  • You can negate the imperative mood without using “do” (“Fear not”)
  • You can form a potential mood using “ought” or “must” (“I ought not go”, “No, you mustn’t!”) since they’re far less common in modern speech. (Except for “oughta” as in “Why, I oughta…”)

Second, I’d like to introduce you to an entire English grammatical mood that has almost died out: The subjunctive.

The subjunctive has several functions (talking about hypotheticals, expressing opinions, and making polite requests) and I know of only two forms which are both distinctive and still in use:

  • If I were (as opposed to “If I was“, used to talk about hypotheticals)
  • I suggest that he beat the drum (as opposed to “he beats the drum”, used to express an opinion)

That second one is how “long live the king” classifies as subjunctive, by the way. If it were indicative, it’d be “long lives the king”. (A reordering of “the king lives long.”)

As Wikipedia points out, there are also two other distinctive constructions which have drifted far enough from common speech to sound flat-out wrong to some modern English-speakers:

  • And if he be not able
  • I will ensure that he leave immediately (“[ensure] [that he leave]” as opposed to “[ensure that] [he leaves]”)

As an author using the subjunctive in the present day, using “If I were” properly is the main thing you want to focus on:

  • “If I was…” is the past conditional. You’re saying “If [factual statement]…” so you use it in phrases like “If I was rich, where did the money go?”
  • “If I were…” is the future subjunctive. You’re saying “If [hypothetical statement]…” so you use it in phrases like “If I were rich, I’d have the time that I lack“.

12. Further Reading

First, using a thesaurus to find synonyms that feel more archaic is an easy technique… assuming you grew up speaking English. (For example, we don’t use “permit” as a verb as much as we used to. “If you’ll permit me to…” sounds more archaic than “If you’ll allow me to…”.)

Second, If you’ve got the time and want to make your archaic English feel even more accurate, direct experience can be a big help. Given how messy English was in the days before standardized spelling, my advice is to work backwards from modern English.

Drop by Project Gutenberg and download some books that are still modern enough to read but have sat in the public domain for long enough for the language to have drifted. I recommend starting with the Sherlock Holmes series (text or audio) and then moving on to the original novel version of Frankenstein (audiobook), since they’re both still engaging reads.

(And, for people who have only seen the movies, you’re really missing out. The Frankenstein novel is a deep read and invented the core “speculative fiction” branch of science fiction. There’s a reason only the novel is subtitled “Or, The Modern Prometheus“)

Finally, if you really want to put in an effort and feel like dropping by your local library, ask your local library for Martin Gardner’s The Annotated Alice (preferably the Definitive Edition) as well as some high school-style annotated copies of Shakespearean plays. You’ll be surprised at some of the ways the language has drifted.

(For example, when Alice says “let’s pretend”. That used to only be meant in the sense of “pretender to the throne”… so a more accurate translation would be closer to “let’s lie” than “let’s play make-believe”)

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The Most Eye-Opening Things I’ve Ever Read

Every now and then, I run across an article where the amount of condensed epiphany simply blindsides me… so I’ve decided to start collecting them here. (Listed in the order I read them)

Against School by John Taylor Gatto
I first read this article back when I was in high school and it blew me away. It’s basically a condensed summary (with references) of Gatto’s longer works, which explain why the boredom and conformity of high school is a feature, not a bug, and the core purpose of compulsory education, as currently implemented, is to produce obedient sodiers and factory workers.
Sir Ken Robinson also touched on the value-neutral economic disadvantages this system brings in the 21st century in a great talk which had the relevant bit illustrated by RSA Animate.
Southern Values Revived by Sara Robinson
I already mentioned this before and it’s not quite as mind-blowing as some of the other stuff I read, but it definitely got me thinking.
It’s an explanation of how and why, in America, there have been two different definitions of “liberty” that have persisted since the very beginning… and how both the civil war and the current struggles between progressive and regressive ideas are part of the same struggle that’s been going on since the brutal Barbados slave owners expanded northward and their ideology came into conflict with that which spawned the U.S. constitution.
Who’s Cheating Whom? by Alfie Kohn
Now, back to the marginally mind-blowing. This heavily-cited article explains, in detail, why current attempts to stop academic dishonesty (cheating) are doomed to failure because cheating is a symptom of a fundamental flaw in our approach to education. It ends by pointing out how, if we were to stop cheating, we would have destroyed everything we claim to value along the way.
On Artificial Intelligence by David Deutsch
This is, without a doubt, the most mind-blowing of the bunch.
It starts by talking about how the laws of physics guarantee that artificial general intelligence (artificial sapience) is possible. It then moves on to explaining why self-awareness is merely a symptom and creativity is the true “tough nut to crack”, likening our “the brain’s parallelism is the key” addiction to emergent behaviour  rationalizations to expecting buildings to fly if we just build them tall enough.
Finally, if you’re already too educated for that to blow your mind, it ends with one more attempt by drawing attention to how primitive and arbitrary our definition of personhood is and how, by the time we successfully create an artificial general intelligence, we will have learned enough to formulate a concrete, objective definition.
The First Global Civil War by Lionel Dricot
Let’s just say that this article recasts the worldwide fight between established organizations (government, corporations) and things like “piracy” and “social media” by doing a point-by-point comparision between recognized civil wars and the current state of the world.
Why are companies like the Big 5 (now Big 3) record labels fighting piracy to the point where they have to merge to remain profitable? Because it’s not about money, it’s about control.
Targeted Advertising Considered Harmful by Don Marti
A long but very fascinating exploration, from a scientific viewpoint, of what role the decision to advertise (independent of the ad’s content) plays in a market, how that relates to the relative values of ads in various media, and why that makes targeted online advertising unavoidable in the short term but a self-destructive spiral for the industry in the long term.
(It’s basically the same mechanism underlying mating displays which burden the male. Only the genuine article can put on such an expensive display and survive. The technical term is “signalling“.)
See also: Why ad-blocking is not a moral dilemma, The ethics of modern web ad-blocking

Finally, while they’re numerous and ongoing and, hence, not easy to include in the main list, Rick Falkvinge’s articles on TorrentFreak provide a very thought-provoking alternative perspective on the nature and history of copyright and the cause and meaning of the fight against “piracy”.

Update: Also, while they’re not technically reading, I strongly recommend watching the Yale Open Courseware recordings of PHIL 176: Death with Shelly Kagan. They’re a hugely eye-opening introduction into how to rationally discuss the nature of conscious existence.

Update: Added “Targeted Advertising Considered Harmful”

Update: Also, again in videos, The Backwards Brain Bicycle (Smarter Every Day, episode 133) is quite the eye-opening look at the true nature of the idiom “like riding a bike”.

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