Stephan Sokolow's Blog

The Power Snivellus Knows Not by nonjon

Length: Oneshot
Sources: Harry Potter
Rating: 5/5

Now that I’m back to short, good, and funny, let’s take a look at “The Power Snivellus Knows Not”. Readers who are familiar with the Harry Potter fandom may remember a small surge of “The power he knows not is…” joke-fics shortly after the release of the fifth novel. Some of the more memorable ones I’ve seen have included propane explosions and electrocution by fallen power lines.

However, “The Power Snivellus Knows Not” takes it a step further. Rather than trying to be serious until the punchline rolls around, it revels in the silliness and, in the process, provides a nice parody of various aspects of such fics. In short, if you liked “Of Great Turmoil and Excess Stupidity“, you’ll like this.

Of course, when a story includes a brainstorming session with quotes like this, how can you not like it?

Tonks was tapping her chin. “Have you suggested the vat of honey and trained killer attack bees in a while?”

Harry nodded. “Yup. That one I always try to slip past them. Same with the marijuana.”

Tonks shook her head. “Harry, I keep explaining it to you. Marijuana would not kill him. It’d just make him hungry and giggly.”

Brutality by Viperflamer

Length: 18 Chapters, Incomplete
Sources: Naruto
Rating: 3.5/5

Rating Breakdown:
Plot and Events: 4/5
Composition: 3/5
Grammar and Spelling: 2/5

Taking a short break from my parade of fanfiction favorites, we come to “Brutality”, a fic I just happened to be reading which I found noteworthy enough to comment on. Specifically, because it takes several ideas that are rather cliché and manages to make something out of them which feels half-decent. In fact, it’s biggest flaw is that it could really use some proofreading and editing. (Which I’d happily do if I could spare the time)

The basic plot is “Naruto loses an arm and an eye to an attack as a young child, gets replacements from Kyuubi, and is raised by Tsunade” and it includes the “Naruto’s mother is alive… just in a coma” cliché as well but, the author also threw in a large number of additional changes. It’s this previously un-tried combination of ideas which makes for the first of the three reasons I like it.

Second, despite their need for a decent beta reader, the author does seem to have a reasonable idea of what not to do in a fanfic. For example, he doesn’t add things “just because they’re cool.”

Finally, the primary focus is on the characters rather than the events or the “special effects”. This alone is one of the big things many fanfics lacks and, all by itself, it can make many otherwise boring fanfics worthwhile.

Of course, it is a reasonably long story and I did say it could use some proofreading or editing, so unless you’ve got time to spare, you might want to save this one for a rainy day. It doesn’t help that, as of this writing, the last chapter ends on possibly the worst of possible cliffhangers.

Honestly, Headmaster by Meteoricshipyards

Length: Oneshot
Sources: Harry Potter
Rating: 5/5

Continuing on our little tour of highly-rated funny oneshots, we come to Honestly, Headmaster. Measuring only two screenfuls on my computer, this is probably the shortest fic in the list, but I find it very memorable.

It’s set during the sixth Harry Potter book as an alternative to Dumbledore’s death and takes the form of Dumbledore’s conversation with Harry when he returns from an emergency Wizengamot meeting to find Hogwarts looking like the morning after a drunken frat party.

From a writing standpoint, it takes the form of an escalating exchange. That is, Dumbledore asks a question, Harry gives an answer, and that prompts an even funnier question. Repeat until punchline is reached. For example:

To be honest, it was Neville’s idea to use the stinksap. Seems he’s the only one who knew the awful smell it has is like a million times more annoying to werewolves. So we filled some balloons with it, and sent some people werewolf hunting through the halls on our brooms.”

“Balloons?”

“To be honest, Headmaster, we didn’t have balloons, and Seamus came up with the idea of using condoms. Seems he has a supply. It worked, though. Was a bit embarrassing handing them to Angelina, Katie, and Alicia, but they’re very good at hitting things by throwing them from a broom. To be honest, Headmaster, it was Oliver who came up with that idea, once we knew the werewolves were outside the Gryffindor tower. We really didn’t expect them to jump out the window trying to get away from the smell. And as the entrance to the Gryffindor tower is on the seventh floor, when they reached the ground they were going rather fast, so honestly Headmaster, what happened to the greenhouses wasn’t our fault.

As you can see, the better the reader is at visualizing what they read, the more fun this story will be. Enjoy. 🙂

Uhhhhh ok by Ringmaster

Length: Oneshot
Sources: Neon Genesis Evangelion, Beavis and Butthead
Rating: 5/5

Have you ever found a story idea so unbelievably insane that crosses back into genius? Welcome to “Uhhhhh ok”. It’s a somewhat demented little oneshot which explores how funny things might get if Shinji and Rei decided to explore human reactions to the unusual by acting like Beavis and Butthead.

I’d say more, but with an insane oneshot, there rarely is much to say.

Of Great Turmoil and Excess Stupidity by Seaouryou

Length: Oneshot
Sources: Harry Potter, InuYasha
Rating: 5/5

While none of the core plot elements in this are overly original, originality takes a back seat in parodies and this is definitely a parody. It’s a story which doesn’t take itself seriously, but is of great enough quality to recognize the difference between humor and laziness. In short, Sesshomaru wakes up in one of Hagrid’s Care of Magical Creatures classes and things progress in their natural fashions… taking full advantage of any opportunities to make fun of other Harry Potter stories.

For example:

“You know,” Hermione said, frowning a little. “If this… youkai is kidnapping teachers, maybe it has something to do with Voldemort.”

“Voldemort!” Harry cried, leaping up from his seat at the Gryffindor table and brandishing a butter knife. “Where? He killed my godfather… and father! I’m going to kill him!”

Hermione sighed. “We know, Harry, you told us six times this morning.”

I can’t really say more without spoiling part of the fun, but it’s just a few screenfuls, so if you’ve got 10 or 15 minutes to spare, it makes for a great morning laugh. It’s not “I can’t breathe” funny, but it’s not often that I laugh out loud.

Story: Harry Potter: The ‘Boy’ Who Lived
Rating 5/5

One thing I won’t hesitate to admit is that, when I start reading fanfiction for a new series, looking for gender-benders is one of my first goals. Unfortunately, as with anything else, Sturgeon’s law holds true and 90% of it is crud. “Harry Potter: The ‘Boy’ Who Lived” is one of those rare stories that not only makes it into the top 10%, but the top 1%.

Anyone who reads a lot of Harry Potter fanfiction will probably recognize the “what if Harry Potter had been born a girl” plot, but it’s what the author does with it that makes this story special.:

First, as an additional layer of protection, Dumbledore convinced the Potters to tell everyone that they had a son… a charade he convinces “Hallie” to keep up during her first year at Hogwarts so that she could get a good reputation and gain peoples’ trust without having to worry about gender-related prejudice.

Second, the story puts some focus on Draco Malfoy as a person, rather than just a one-dimensional rival, as well as adjusting the chain of events leading to his rivalry with “Harry” just enough to make it fresh.

And finally third, the author recognizes one of the aspects of fanfiction writing which is far less common than it should be: If you are writing a derivative work, you don’t need to revisit every event that took place in the original… that usually just makes your story boring.

So, in conclusion, another story that deserves 5 out of 5. Just keep in mind that this only covers the first year, so you’ll have to start reading Hallie Potter: Secrets Revealed once you finish this.

Story: The Virus by Space Pirate Hamster (zip-format pack including sidestories by other authors)
Rating: 5/5

I can’t believe I forgot to review this. Anyway, “The Virus” by Space Pirate Hamster (and it’s many sidestories by others) is an addictive and highly amusing mega-crossover with a core of Ranma ½ and Tenchi Muyo. Ok, now that I’ve driven away half of my readers by saying “mega-crossover”, here’s the plot:

1. Mihoshi messes up one of Washuu’s experiments (what else is new?)
2. Tenchi gets infected by the newly-mutated Juraian cold germ just before going to an inter-school kendo tournament.
3. While he’s busy beating Tatewaki Kuno, the germ swaps some DNA and proteins with Ranma.
4. Not long after, Tenchi finds himself female, Earth is being quarantined, and Washuu is calling up Dr. Tofu to let him know that, according to her research, the world’s population should be able to switch back to their birth genders in a few weeks.

Of course, it doesn’t end there and the quality is in the details, so you’ll still want to read it. The main story and most of the sidestories are Ranma-style light-hearted stuff with the main story being a series of glimpses into events as the virus spreads. I think you can understand how such a format would work nicely for making well-written mega-crossovers. This has definitely earned it’s 5 out of 5 rating.

Oh, don’t forget to read Wandless Magic by Cloud Dreamer. It’s another good sidestory but, because it’s still very much alive and well, it’s not included in the “vanished fanfic archive” pack I’ve linked to. It explores how Nerimavirus might affect Harry Potter characters.