I love stories in the form of poetry and this one’s more special than most. Does this quote seem familiar to you?
Water, water, every where,
And all the boards did shrink ;
Water, water, every where,
Nor any drop to drink.— Rime of the Ancient Mariner, Samuel Talyor Coleridge
If you’re familiar with Magic: the Gathering, you may recognize two more. Either way, this is a great read. It’s a pity I can’t really find a better quote to show it off… but then it is quite long.
Birth of a Name by nonjon
Length: Oneshot
Sources: Harry Potter
Rating: 5/5
In fanfiction, there are certain trends which you can count on. Of these, the most notable is probably the choice of focus. It’s rare to find stories which focus on aspects of characters that the original story never touched on. (or never touched on very well) Another such trend is that when somebody does have a good idea and that idea doesn’t conflict with the original story, it usually becomes part of the shared body of “unofficial official” facts.
Today’s Harry Potter fanfic touches on both of these as it answers the question “How did Tom Riddle figure out that his name could be rearranged to spell ‘I am Lord Voldemort’ and how can we make it funny?” It’s “Birth of a Name” by nonjon and if you’ve ever read a fanfic which mentioned the Jumbliatus curse or said that Salazar Slytherin’s pet basilisk was named “Blinky”, then it has had an effect on you.
The fic is written from a first-person perspective and starts with a young Tom Riddle walking into class and dreading the weekly “Friday Fun Spell”. I especially enjoy this because, not only does it provide a glimpse at how a teenage Tom Riddle might have thought, it also takes the opportunity to provide believable teenage versions of several of the other characters who would have been going to school somewhere around the same time. I do suspect that some of the characters in question might have been a little too old to be in the same class, but that’s not the main focus of the story and, given how effective the humor is, it’s not a big problem.
After all, how can you take a future evil villain seriously when this is going on inside his head?
I write my full name down on the paper. I quietly hiss, “Jumblio” and watch the magic change ‘Tom Marvolo Riddle’ into… ‘Lord Leotard Mom IV’? Really? What the hell happened to the first three mothers of Lord Leotard? You know what? I don’t think I want to know. I try the spell again. “Jumblio”.
‘Tim Doom Lardlover.’ Okay, at least we’re getting some variety here. Something tells me I can do better than that one. I mean there’s got to be something good in there, right?
With a non-stop barrage of quotes like these, it’s not wonder that this is one of the handful of fics which have made me laugh out loud. I haven’t noticed any grammatical errors, but it’s an extremely short story, so I don’t want to spoil the ending. I’ll just say that it puts a whole new spin on the events mentioned in the original Harry Potter books and leave you with one more incentive to read it:
‘Model Tom, Viral Rod.’ Hmm, you know if Rod ever became a massive all-powerful festering diseased dark wizard, I might be willing to include myself and my dashing good looks in a partnership. Wait… no I wouldn’t. I’d still kill him. “Jumblio.”
For those who weren’t already aware of this flash cartoon, here’s the story: In 2006, Discovery channel ran a contest for the best spoofs of their shows. This one didn’t win, but it’s definitely funny and the Mythbusters saw and liked it.
Anyway, it’s only about 5 minutes, so go watch it right now. It’s definitely good for a laugh.
The Wild Horse Thesis by Calamity-Queen of Cordite
Length: 18 Chapters, Complete
Sources: Ranma ½, Neon Genesis Evangelion
Rating: 5/5
And now for the story which is without a doubt the best of the fun Neon Genesis Evangelion fics I’ve read. Yes, it’s time for “The Wild Horse Thesis” by Calamity-Queen of Cordite.
This is a definite 5/5 and, if you ignore the “apples and oranges” problem inherent in comparing fun/funny/WAFFy fanfiction with realistic/serious fanfiction, then this is the best Evangelion fic I’ve ever found. (Normally I wouldn’t be so hasty to make such a statement, but this is the only work of fiction (fanfiction or original) which I’ve re-read 6 times.)
For those who don’t already know, It’s a Ranma-Evangelion crossover. The basic plot is that, thanks to some outside help, Gosunkugi actually gets some functional magic to use against Ranma and manages to use it without Murphy’s law kicking in. The next thing Ranma knows, he’s been banished into a set of Evangelion tapes.
Thankfully, he isn’t going into things blind. With the only anime character (at the time) to have a crappier life than he does, it’s Ranma’s favorite anime. On that note, the story takes advantage of a rather interesting presentational construct to follow two storylines at once: Ranma’s adventures in Evangelion-land take place as the rest of the Nerima crew watch the “Neon Genesis Evangelion ¼” tapes which arrived in the mail… complete with a thought-revealing 3rd-persion omniscient viewpoint. Prepare to see preconceptions erode. The big reason I like this is that it feels like a “[character names] read their own story” fic without all the boring repetition of the canonical plot. Best of both worlds.
As for “both worlds”, “Neon Genesis Evangelion ½” is no ordinary alternate universe. First, there’s the inherent fun from keeping Ranma’s curse intact… made even better by a skilled author with a creative mind. However, on a more general level, the story relies heavily on character interaction, which makes for a very unique mix of the familiar and the new. I won’t spoil the ending, but I will say that if anyone can prevent third impact, it’s Ranma Saotome.
The “outer story” back in Nerima does have a bit of a problem with Akane-bashing and other fanon clichés, but it’s tempered by the rest of the story and, as with “Chaotic Future”, it’s part of a successful effort by a skilled author to intentionally draw on certain “fanon Ranma” elements for their utility or humor value. Given how well the overall effect works, I have no problem with it.
Anyway, this is really one of those stories where the whole is far greater than the sum of it’s parts, but I can at least leave you with a couple more humorous snippets.
“Shampoo no like Airen living with purple-haired slut.”
This caused nearly everyone at the table to sweat-drop and someone
muttered something about pots and kettles being black.
“Hiya, Pop,” Ranma said cheerfully as he entered Gendo’s office.
“What do you want, Third Child,” Gendo said coolly. “I’m very busy.”
“Yeah, you look it too, sitting there lookin’ all diabolical with your hands steepled in front of your face,” Ranma observed with a smirk, while walking around Gendo’s desk. “I bet you were in here busy practicing that all day, weren’t ya? Well, I think you need some exercise and I got some frustrations to work off.” Ranma reached out and snagged his ‘father’ by the lapels, hoisting him up out of his seat. “So we’re goin’ down to the gym and havin’ a father-son bonding session while we beat the crap outta each other. Sounds fun, huh?”
“So that was the 17th angel?” Misato asked as she and Ritsuko walked up.
“Yeah,” Ranma said. “One more to go, well, maybe two more if you count Gendo.”
Ritsuko snickered.
“I wonder what he’d think if he heard his own son calling him an angel,” Ritsuko asked.
“The bastard would probably be flattered,” Misato answered.
Enjoy. 🙂
Chaotic Future by Cloud Dreamer
Length: 7 Chapters, Complete
Sources: Ranma ½, Oh! My Goddess, Sailor Moon
Rating: 5/5
The Good: Uncommon crossover, Draws me to re-read it again and again despite it’s flaws, Old enough and good enough to have possibly created the clichés it uses, Lots of great quotable bits
The Bad: Has quite a few plot elements which have since become clichés, The ending doesn’t take itself quite as seriously as in many modern fics and some people can’t get over that
The Ugly: Akane-bashing
Ok, today’s review (A.K.A. my excuse for relaxing with some fanfiction as a reward for getting some work done 😛 ) is for “Chaotic Future” by Cloud Dreamer. This one has been around since before I started into fanfiction (some would call it a classic) and this is probably my third or fourth read of it, so I’m surprised I didn’t get around to reviewing it already.
Anyway, the story is a lockfic and a Ranma/Oh! My Goddess/Sailor Moon crossover. Ranma insults Skuld and she decides to get back at him by locking him in female form. Ranma’s foot-in-mouth disease then proceeds to send things to hell in a handbasket and Kami-sama punishes Skuld for injuring Ranma by turning her male and locking away her powers until Ranma names Skuld’s firstborn child. Naturally, Ranma freaks out.
Now, at first, this may sound cheesy and clichéd, but it’s the details which make it work. It all starts when Ranma sees Skuld’s debugging mallet and makes an offhand comment about “tomboys everywhere”. Goddesses are beings of order and are mildly allergic to chaos magic by nature. Hence, Ranma’s Jusenkyo curse makes Skuld irritable and confrontational without her noticing or knowing why. Cue “Ranma insults ‘tomboy’; ‘Tomboy’ gets angry” scene. This time, Ranma almost gets away with it, but anyone who knows Skuld will remember that her hammer has a telescoping handle.
Belldandy proceeds to explain Ranma’s curse to Skuld, both as the reason she’s feeling irritable and so Skuld knows to refer to Ranma as “he”. This gives Skuld the idea to lock Ranma’s curse and, after a short break for Cologne to explain to Ranma that he’s just insulted a goddess and that is why she can lock and unlock his curse so easily, he asks Belldandy whether she can unlock the curse.
She tells him that she can, but as a matter of honor between her and her sisters, she won’t without Skuld’s permission. Ranma’s reply is in the form of a comment So it is true. The gods and goddesses really are cruel and petty. They use false honor to justify harming others, just like Saffron did.
and Skuld loses it. Ranma almost dies from the divine hammer blow and, as punishment, Kami-sama seals Skuld’s power and turns her into a boy. “He” is also on probation and bonded to Ranma to ensure that they can’t kill each other. Skuld proceeds to faint… not that they get along any better when “he” wakes up:
“Wait!” He yelled; having gained Ranma’s attention, Skuld hesitantly continued, “Ranma, what about me? You heard what the message said, unless you name our first born child, I’ll be locked like this forever.”
Ranma absently scratched her head and said, “What’s the problem with that? I think you’d be glad to be a guy now.” She smirked and added, “That’s one way to avoid being called a tomboy after all.”
Skuld stiffened in anger and hissed, “Really? So you don’t think there is anything wrong with being frozen in the wrong gender?” The young god then yelled in Ranma’s face, “Well, in that case, you can stay a girl for all I care.”
The story has a fair number of clichés, but keep in mind that this is old enough to have started some of those clichés and it wouldn’t surprise me if it did. Besides, clichés aren’t as bad somehow when you’re seeing them in stories written before they became clichéd. (Don’t believe me? Watch the Fushigi Yuugi anime) It’s probably because bad writing makes any flaws grate on your nerves. Besides, good authors mix them with quotes like this one:
Pay? Where did this bill in my hand come from? The Pig-tailed-girl ate THAT much? No, don’t accuse a goddess like that of thievery, obviously she entreats me to succor her from her companion’s gluttony. You do take plastic do you not? Good, here’s my Samurai Gold card; what do you mean you’ve never heard of it. Peasant!
That kind of creative quality continues throughout the story. My only real complaint about this is the hardcore Akane-bashing and I’m not defending that. I think the main reasons I tolerate it are:
On the plus side, the story has been proofread very well by today’s standards. I’ve only noticed two typos (“shown” instead of “shone” in chapter 6 and “Kanatsu” instead of “Konatsu” in chapter 7) and, though I’m less likely to notice them while reading casually, I haven’t noticed any grammatical errors either.
Of course, the biggest indicator of quality in the face of cliché elements and Akane-bashing is probably the number of times I’ve re-read it. I can count the number of stories I’ve re-read more than once with my fingers and that’s including the professionally published stuff. (More than twice on one hand) It’s a rare story which balances length and quality this way (Too long and I won’t re-read things because it’s too much effort) and, even if I’m not entirely sure why, something keeps drawing me back.
Read it or don’t read it. I liked it and I’m sure I’ll re-read it yet again eventually.
And the moral of the story? Real programmers use whatever the heck they feel most comfortable with… now leave me to my nano vim.
An Overlooked World by N. Reynolds
Length: 6 Chapters, Complete.
Sources: Ranma ½
Reviewer: Weebee
Rating: 3/5
Hi. The name’s Weebee, and I’ll be your reviewer for today. Where’s the other guy? Well, erm… (Looks around nervously and kicks unconscious body under nearby table.) He’s sick, that’s it! Today’s fic will be “An overlooked world.” It’s a Ranma Alternate Universe.
The plot is basically that Ranma’s been hiding a rather substantial amount of intelligence throughout the series. Why? He has his reasons… After it’s revealed that Ranma is smarter than we think he is, the main meat of the story begins. Nabiki is captured by the Amazons after Ranma accidentally makes her think that they are going to kill Akane, and Ranma is forced to reveal his intelligence, in order to free her, and with the help of his mother and Kasumi, get rid of all official engagement promises.
This story is spectacularly OOC, at least on Ranma’s part, and the author tends to mangle some established character traits, such as Shampoo’s speech patterns. Even so, if you can stomach the OOC it is rather fun to read, as the fathers are captured perfectly, and the slightly off portrayals of some of the others are rather entertaining. The most grating note for some, of course, will be that there is a pretty decent amount of character bashing in the traditional style. I’d recommend this fic for a quick, and fun, read since it’s pretty short by my standards, and it’s spelling and grammar are, if not perfect, at least not in the realm of cringing every few lines.
Oh, one last thing that could make you want to read this… Happi gets what he deserves… Yeah!
I'm Stephan, a Linux user with a passion for open-source, UI/UX design, and exploring what makes fiction work.
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